BUFOG Pranks & Funnies

Introduction

Occasionally, as to be expected, we receive hoax or unintentionally daft/funny reports via either here, the BUFOG forum or Richard Hall's site Richplanet.Net. I don't in any way condone these but I figured I'd put them on display for you to have a read. I have purposely removed any contact details from them. Note that these are usually pretty rude/adult in nature and contain sex references and bad language. If you are offended by such things please do not read on, you have been warned. Otherwise enjoy!

The Membership Request Is Out There

Received: 16/01/2017

Via: E-Mail

Title: Mr

First Name: Fox

Last Name: Mulder

Message: Please I want to believe.

My response message:

Your name sounds kind of familiar. For some reason I’m getting the impression that you have an official background and that there’s also a lady involved to some extent. Any idea? Membership to BUFOG costs £10 for life which ensures that only real FBI agents join us. You’ll get a membership card and money off all of our meetings and events. Best to bring it along to a meeting with you. Just watch out for unmarked helicopters or strange old men smoking cigarettes…

UFO Caught On Tape Received: 27/08/2014 Via: Facebook Page

What you think of the UFO I caught on tape.???

My response:

Ha ha ha I think it's 100% legit!

Illuminati Invitation

Received: 22/08/2014 Via: E-Mail

Subject: Membership Application

Do you desire Wealth,Riches,Fame,Spot light,Powers,Unlock your destiny by joining the illuminati order today and earn $250,000 for member loyalty and $1,000,000 for championing the course of destiny. If Interested contact us.

Warm Regards.

Illuminati Order.

Copyright ©2014 Illuminati

Kitchens In Space

Received: 20/02/2013 Via: BUFOG Forum

Best kitchen deals available from www.formbykitchens.com

Member responses:

Truly fascinating. Struggling to find the link between kitchens and UFOs. I guess Greys have to cook food somewhere....

Not easy for them to find a suitable kitchen when their living space doesn't have corners! I guess the bespoke kitchen companies have figured this out and found a whole new market

The True Strength Of Table Linen

Received: 17/01/2013 Via: BUFOG Forum

Table linens are mainly meant to provide protection to the table against mars as well as scratches. Therefore, table linens are part of the tables; they should, thus, be given more weight when it comes to selection.

Member response:

Do we really need to protect our tables against mars? And exactly how much weight should we be selecting when trying to protect against a planet the size of mars? Are we expecting an impact with mars sometime soon and will a table linen covered table be sufficient to protect my loved ones?

A Terrifying Attack

Received: 06/10/2012 Via: BUFOG site

Name (Optional): Bob Le'Cure

Address (Optional): 32 Lower Tuernip Street

Experience Date: 1 January 1968

Experience Time: 2 minutes to midnight

Experience Location: Outside Captain Ranjit's Locker. (curry house)

Weather Conditions: Clear moonlight skies

Witnesses Present: Rommel, but he is a German Shepard so sadly he cant help

Object Shape: Tubular with a bulbus hood on one end

Object Colour(s): Fleshy colours, with hints of purple on the hood

Object Lighting: The bulbus hood throbbed a very pale purplish light.

Estimated Size: 12"

Direction From You: Heading towards me

Estimated Distance: 20ft

Estimated Height: Head height (4ft 2")

Object Sound(s): Vibrating buzzing sound

Movement Pattern: Thrusting motions

Estimated Speed: About walking speed

Direct Interaction: It tried to attack me in the anal area.

Being(s) Seen: None

Missing Time: About 2 minutes, and missing jeans too.

Effect on Surroundings: It burned my pubic hair around my erogenous zones, especially around my anus

Length of Experience: The object was 12" but I think I only took about 6"

Emotions at Time: Excited, Scared and Turned on all at once. Rectum stinged a bit too

How Experience Ended: I Splooged, it was completely involuntary, I just couldn't stop myself.

Additional Details: The dog has been scarred permanently by witnessing this event, he cant even lick his own testicles anymore.

My response:

Hi Bob. Thanks for sharing your fascinating and erotic experience with me. I advise you to sit on an ice bag for a long while and you’ll hopefully be walking straight again before you know it. To prevent further intrusions I recommend purchasing an iron clad chastity belt. This will protect your erogenous zones from unwanted repeat attacks.

I Brought Down a UFO

Thread Started: 05/10/2012 Website: Godlike Productions

Note: Only relevant posts displayed

Hello there, my full name is Hansel Jermain Dilpinson (i was born in Romania), but moved to the UK over 20 years ago and have lived in the UK since.

We have had in my area of town, many sightings of ufos, orbs, lights for some time. There have been news reports of them too, investigations, yet it has turned up with nothing.

Last night, under the cover of darkness, myself and a number of other investigators from the birmingham ufo group (we are the only active uk group that deals with abductees and ufos etc) just do a google search for BUFOG (the person in charge is dave my next door neighbour)!

We saw a light flashing, and it got nearer and nearer, as it approached the ground started to shake, i was scared, literally scared i had never felt like this before.

Suddenly it started to descend.

We ran away, and kept on running for a mile, all the time excpecting it to be behind or above us, but when we got back to the house it was gone.

We decided that this could be the biggest story in the history of mankind, and decided to get our video cameras, and to go back out to film it.

I brought with my a rocket grenade launcher just in case (i have one still from my time in the army), and yes its licenced, as i, as a high ranking officer am still called up to the army from time to time, so i have not officially retired yet.

Anyway, we went back out, and headed back for the spot we had been in earlier, we didnt need to wait long. Almost at once above us, the craft appeared again, it was huge about the size of a large house. It had portholes and a dome on top. Without a second thought i fired the launcher. It hit it, but had no effect at all.

I remembered fellow members of the ufo group saying that whilst they are in the air they have a magnetic distortion field around them which protects them.

I realised i would have to strike when they landed, and so i did. I waited for it to hover to the ground and as it was about to touch down, i fired...

With a huge explosion, that was heard for miles (my wife rung me up from work at the farm 2 miles ago to ask if everything was okay as she heard the blast), the craft came down, and with a smash, hit the group at a 90 degree angle. There it came to rest.

No entities came out, nothing.

We panicked and run back to the house.

A few hours later were mustered up the courage to come back, and the flames/smoke had gone out, and the ufo was still in the same position at a 90 degree angle.

The area it is in, is a very rarely used footpath, as the entrance to it is covered in trees, so only the locals whove lived there for many years know about it.

We are not sure what to do now, do we ring for help, do we take the risk and try open the portholes? what do we do.

I would like to ask for advice, and really want to thank you for reading this.

PS i know this thread may be met with scorn and doubt, but i assure you, we are reputable investigators and this is our website,

bufognavigation.blogspot.co.uk

Pics or it did not happen.

There is a large factory/bakery in the background beyond the trees, if i was to post a photo, our location would be given away

I am happy to do it once i find a way to crop it out or something

For the moment i am on here for advice, thank you

Of course no pics... I mean how hard is it to take your cell and snap a picture? Even Obama's free phones have camera... 

You guys drive me nuts.

birmingham, rocket launcher, shot down huge ufo.

diptardmaximus

ARE YOU MAD ?

Rocket Launcher in the United Kingdom !!!!

Can't even get an Air Rifle without hassle

That looks a half decent website....why destroy it's credibility with this dolly daydream tale............

I believe in and have seen UFOs but what you just written does not happen beyond Hollywood 

Hawaay Man......!

even BB guns are illegal in UK!

I assure you i am a woman of wisdom and reputation in my village

I would never make this up.

What i am after is advice, on how to handle this

Should we investigate the ufo? or call the authorities

call the AA to get it towed.